One way to understanding how a person operates while in the cycle of sex addiction is to look through the lens of Transactional Analysis, which is a theory of psychology that considers the ego states that we operate from when we interact with ourselves, others, and the world. Those ego states include Parent, Adult, and [...]
When approaching recovery from sex addiction, why is it important to work with a professional who specializes in this area? One of the reasons is the knowledge that compulsive sexual behaviors are often less a product of sexual arousal, and more of an attempt to cope with unattended shame or trauma. With that understanding, those [...]
If you have recently discovered your partner has a sexual or pornography addiction, you might be overwhelmed. So what are some things you can do to begin your healing process? In the recovery path of the partner, there will be some band-aid short term stabilization strategies, to get you through the initial days and weeks [...]
The 12 step community gets it right. The step work and sponsorship ARE the program. I know of many people who attend 12 step recovery meetings but never dig into the step work. There are probably as many reasons as there are people who attend but don't enter into sponsorship. I'd like to suggest a [...]
Much of American culture values being individualistic, which can discourage having a reliance or dependence on others. You have probably heard someone say “I had to do it myself”, when describing how he or she accomplished something. On further examination, most stories like this would likely reveal at least one support person who helped in [...]
In this 3rd part of the series for the partners of sex addicts, we'll address some of the forms of trauma that many of our clients who are partners of sex addicts experience. Realize that not all of these forms of trauma apply to everyone. Our clients usually report more than one form of trauma [...]
I'll be writing in this series about the issues many of our clients who are partners of sex addicts face as they work towards healing from the addiction. I'll offer some ideas and suggestions for healthy boundaries, some things to do to take care of yourself, and, hopefully, some new insights that help you realize [...]
Group therapy is a critical part of any addiction recovery. For sex addiction it is especially important due to the shame and embarrassment that comes along with anything sexual in our society.
Sex and pornography, like many other behaviors can be addictive. In this post we'll consider only a small bit of the evidence supporting the idea of sexual addiction.
Shame is a critical part of sexual addiction and pornography addiction. It keeps people from seeking treatment and overcoming their addiction. But, shame is also paradoxical. Understanding this paradox might help you move to the next step of recovery.