For The Partner

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If you're the partner or spouse of a sex addict you know the suffering and trauma you've been through or are going through.

The lies, the secrets, that sickening feeling when you finally knew what was happening. For many partners there are feelings of not being good enough, attractive enough or sexy enough.

You may even be thinking things like “I should have known.” or “How did I let this happen?” or even “This is my fault.” Your feelings are honest and valid. Some of them are misguided due to the trauma you’re enduring. What is happening to you and to your relationship is not your fault.

Whether you’ve suspected or known about it for years, or your partner’s addiction was a total shock to you – It’s important that, for the near term, your focus is on you and your recovery not your addicted partner’s recovery.

We hear partners say things like, “I don’t need therapy. I’m not the one with the addiction.” And although it’s true that you don’t have an addiction, working through the intense emotions of betrayal, doubt and fear is critical for your wellbeing and recovery.

Don’t try to go it alone. It’s too much, too big, and you’re too close to your partner and the pain and hurt to be objective. And, your partner is the person who created the hurt you’re experiencing – turning to him or her for support and healing can be too much for both of you and can deepen the divide. Let someone who understands what you’re experiencing and understands how to help you heal guide you on this process.

Can you rebuild the relationship? Should you rebuild the relationship? Do you want to? Is it possible?

These questions and more are valid and the answers are as individual as you are. If you’re the partner of a sex addict, we want to help you get through all that you’re experiencing and feeling in this tough time. We offer both individual partner therapy and partner support group therapy options.

Counseling & Recovery Partners can help you move through the pain and into a better place. We have both male and female therapists trained in the treatment of trauma and addiction. This is a difficult time and there is hope for a brighter future.