A question that I often challenge clients to ask themselves is “Who do I get to be?” when being compulsive sexually. The sexual act could be anything from viewing pornography, going to strip clubs, hiring sex workers, or having affairs. There are a variety of reflections to this question. But what’s common is that clients [...]
Most people have experienced invalidated feelings. You feel cold and someone in the room with you says "What? It's not cold in here". Does that really change how you feel? Do you all of a sudden say "you know what, you're right, I'm not cold". Probably not. You're more likely to feel irritated. In a [...]
We're pleased to offer a new 3-day intensive workshop for healing from sexual addiction. The workshop will be held Friday evening, Saturday, and Sunday morning on February 24th - 26th. If you're just starting your path to recovery (less than 6 months) or you've struggled with relapses, this workshop is for you. Working in a [...]
One way to understanding how a person operates while in the cycle of sex addiction is to look through the lens of Transactional Analysis, which is a theory of psychology that considers the ego states that we operate from when we interact with ourselves, others, and the world. Those ego states include Parent, Adult, and [...]
When approaching recovery from sex addiction, why is it important to work with a professional who specializes in this area? One of the reasons is the knowledge that compulsive sexual behaviors are often less a product of sexual arousal, and more of an attempt to cope with unattended shame or trauma. With that understanding, those [...]
If you have recently discovered your partner has a sexual or pornography addiction, you might be overwhelmed. So what are some things you can do to begin your healing process? In the recovery path of the partner, there will be some band-aid short term stabilization strategies, to get you through the initial days and weeks [...]
My Partner Has a Sexual/Pornography Addiction What Does This Mean For Me? One of the most difficult things to deal with is watching someone you love suffer and struggle with painful life experiences. Whether it is your partner, your child, your parent or your best friend. Being a support for someone who is struggling is [...]
The 12 step community gets it right. The step work and sponsorship ARE the program. I know of many people who attend 12 step recovery meetings but never dig into the step work. There are probably as many reasons as there are people who attend but don't enter into sponsorship. I'd like to suggest a [...]
Much of American culture values being individualistic, which can discourage having a reliance or dependence on others. You have probably heard someone say “I had to do it myself”, when describing how he or she accomplished something. On further examination, most stories like this would likely reveal at least one support person who helped in [...]