Couples and Marriage Counseling (Part 1)

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Couples and Marriage Counseling (Part 1)

Having a healthy, positive relationship with your spouse is one of the most important aspects of our culture and our being. Knowing your partner is there for you in good times and bad, feeling safe to share anything and everything, believing that your partner has your best interest in mind – these are the reasons we marry or choose to be with a partner. These are also, often, the goals of couples counseling.

Marriage is also one of the most difficult things we undertake. When two people with different backgrounds, different values, different ways of communicating and sometimes different daily goals try to work together as one cohesive unit things can get messy.

Marriage counseling is a way to get you and your partner back on track, or maybe on the same track for the first time. At Counseling & Recovery Partners our marriage counseling is based on a decades old model of attachment theory – that is, how we connect in a safe and secure way to another human being. When we’re babies we try to connect to our primary care givers, usually Mom. As we grow those connections often change to siblings or friends and eventually romantic partners. The goal is always to have someone to turn to who truly knows us, comforts us and is a safe place.

Our approach to couples counseling is to help you understand your “attachment style,” recognize the strengths and weaknesses of your style and your partner’s style, and help you improve the depth of communication and connection you feel towards each other.

Couples counseling is not easy. You’ll be asked to try new things – both in session with your counselor and at home – getting out of your comfort zone and creating a different kind of connection with your partner. Some of these will feel easier than others. It’s OK if you struggle – have fun with it and take it easy on one another!

Recently a wife in couple’s counseling said to me, “It’s like we have to start a whole new relationship because I don’t think we’ve had one that was ever healthy.” And I think she is right. Wether you’ve had a good relationship and want to get back to it, or you’re trying to create something new with a familiar partner, we can help.

A new way to connect and communicate in deeper more meaningful ways will make a huge difference in your relationship satisfaction. We can help you have the relationship you want.

About the Author:

Dan Gabbert holds a Masters of Science in Counseling Psychology from Avila University in Kansas City, MO. Dan is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and a Certified Sex Addictions Therapist (CSAT), a rigorous certification issued by The International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP). Dan is also trained in EMDR, a therapeutic technique used for treating trauma and PTSD.