Sometimes it really doesn’t matter why we do the things we do – we just need to stop doing them!
If you like advice that seems short, sweet and to the point, you’ll like this blog post. There are a whole host of things that could be added, but the bottom line is this:
If you punish your partner/spouse, things don’t get better.
Has your partner said or done something that hurt you? What has typically been your reaction? The silent treatment? Yelling or blaming? Name calling? Saying things like, “Well you do it too!” Bringing up the past to make them feel bad? Withholding sex or intimacy?
All of these are ways of punishing our partner. If you want things to get better, if you want a problem to go away rather than stick around and fester and get worse, if you want to get on with life – don’t punish.
Punishing is worse than whatever was originally done. Typically I find that if something is said or done that hurts one partner, it was unintentional – an accident or a mistake. When the hurt party punishes, it’s usually intentional.
If your tendency is to punish – stop! If you’re struggling to stop punishing your partner, seek individual or couple’s counseling.
Life is too short to punish your partner. By the way – when one punishes, both pay.